The Baker of Kyiv

I got up at 3am, There had been explosions all through the night so sleep had not been possible. Each blast a thump in my body and mind, hammering each cell, demanding submission. But I did not relent. My dough was rising, that I knew and it was my job to make sure the city was fed.

Watching the dough

In my bakehouse, I washed my hands, put on my apron, wiped the table, all part of my daily preparation. I removed the cloth that was cloaking the dough and smiled when I saw its smooth surface, waiting to be worked.

I dipped in my hand and scooped the dough onto the table where it plopped down into its own preferred shape, free and easy. Taking a small tool, I began to cut into that silky smoothness, separating each portion of dough until I had divided the whole batch.

Scattering some flour on my table I began to work the portions of dough, taking each one under my hand, telling it my concerns and prayers as I worked. First for my neighbours, this building this street, then for the next street, the square, the other buildings, houses, shops, offices: each portion remembering faces and places all over the city. My family, my friends, other workers, those known and unknown, representing the crowded human diversity of this much loved place.

About half way through I paused as a large explosion rocked the bakehouse, flour rose in a cloud around me, ash fell from the chimney flue, baking tins rattled and I coughed. I put the first loaves in the oven, desperate to be sure that some would be baked at least.

I returned to the table, scattered some more flour, braced myself as another explosion came, and considered the other half of the pile of dough. And then I began to work it, the same as the first batch, each portion a prayer. One for each of the invading army, for the families waiting for their return, for their neighbourhoods, their towns and villages. I worked slowly and methodically through the dough, each portion the same as the previous one, for friend and enemy alike.

Loaves waiting

When the first batch of loaves was ready I retrieved them from the oven and filled it again with the second batch. The golden crisp crusts of the loaves, marked with a cross cut through to the heart of the loaf, ready to feed others. As I had worked the dawn had come unseen by me, sneaking across the sky from the east, from where the explosions still reverberated. I piled the loaves into baskets and waited for the door bell to ring.

Sure enough, within a few minutes there was the sound of feet on the steps and the excited squeal of the bell. I passed the baskets of loaves into the eager hands who ran with them to their cycles and wobbled off down the lanes of the city. My loaves were off to do their day’s work. A crow on the wall eyed me, head on one side and I tossed it an unwanted crust. Pleased with the gift,it soared off to the top of the building opposite to enjoy its reward and keep an eye on the city.

A prayer for bread

I went back inside and opened the tub of flour. Looking inside to see how much was left, I began to scoop out the flour needed for tomorrow’s loaves; forty litres. I added the yeast, worked it once and left it to rise, certain it would do its unseen work.

Janet Lees: 02.03.2022, in Longdendale.

#PrayforUkraine #PrayingforUkraine #BreadforUkraine #Lent

On Cancelling Christmas

In the style of Charles Causley…..

God in the big blue heaven

Looked on the watery waves,

Lapping around the islands

And said ‘So they think Jesus saves.

I’m putting my trust in Ronaldo,

Even Kane’s more likely to score.

I’ve decided to cancel Christmas,

And not be doing it anymore’.

Firstly, God started with carols

and came up with quite a list

of things not to sing in December,

even if you are pissed.

Some were all high notes and tricky,

like Hark the herald angels don’t sing;

Or shepherds don’t watch their flocks by night;

and more of that kind of thing.

Eventually it came down to the Bible,

‘The virgin shall not bear a son’

It hurt so to cross it out;

it was always God’s favourite one.

That moment in Magnificat splendour

when Mary, so full of grace,

says yes to God’s timeless promise

and all glory lights up her face.

God put down the chunky blue crayon

used to edit the text,

and refused to go any further:

‘They’ll want to cancel Easter next!’

Copyright Janet Lees: October 2021, on hearing a lot of fake news about cancelling Christmas, which will never ever happen.

Charles Causley, Cornish Poet, (1917-2003), was born in Launceston, which I visited on my End to End in April 2019.

Parable of Dives and Lazarus 2021

There were two people living in a certain city. One, having benefited from government contracts and subsidies for a decade, and an agreement to delay repaying a huge VAT bill, he was very rich, owning a yacht, an island and a football club, he planned to become a space tourist and orbit the earth with his rich pals.

The other was a single parent, caring for several children, he had had to leave his job to look after them and was struggling to get enough for them to live on. He would queue at the foodbank, ask at the back doors or cafes and resturants and search the bins in the streets for anything that might do.

Both of these men caught COVID19 and were in hospital.

The poor man was worried about his family and how they would cope with him in hospital. Would the children be taken into care he wondered and it was all he could do to keep breathing.

The rich man was very demanding, wanting the staff to deal with his needs first. He would shout out ‘Nurse, Nurse’ or ‘Doctor, Doctor’ and demand water and care saying how he was suffering and didn’t they know who he was. But his demands didn’t impress the professional staff who continued to care for rich and poor alike. Just before he was placed on a ventilator, he said to the staff, ‘Ask the Chaplain to go to my family home and tell all my relatives to get vaccinated, so they don’t find themselves in here in this situation of torment’.

The Chaplain replied, ‘Your family have government guidelines to follow and the advice of the Cheif Medical Officer. If they will not listen to these modern day prophets they will not listen to me’.

The rich man replied, ‘But that poor man has got better. Send him to speak to them and they will be convinced’.

But the Chaplain said , ‘It’s as if he has come back from the dead, but if they do not listen to any of the usual authorities they will not be convinced even by that’.

Janet Lees, Remembering the Bible in Longdendale: 28.09.2021

The Wife of Uriah

I was washing myself, like all of our women. No man could stand to have the blood on him, so we washed. No man could stand to have the smell of the blood on him, so we washed. No man could stand to have the thought of the blood on him, so we washed. We washed and washed and washed and it made us pure enough for the man to come back to us again.

Only my husband was not coming back this month,as he was serving with the king’s army. So why wash? We wash anyway. It is a ritual that has completely enveloped us. After the bleeding, wash. I washed as I always did.

The king saw me wash, but I did not know. But he was not stupid. He had known other women. He knew what it meant. It’s a sign that the bleeding is over again and some think that’s a sign of safety for a while. He sent his messengers to take me back to him with them. I said nothing.

Back in my own room I waited. Like all of our women, I count days. The number of days is a key to a woman’s life. We all count them in ways that men do not. When the counting was done I sent my woman as a messenger to the king with my unused rages. I would not need them this month or for several more months. The king was not stupid. He had known other women. He knows about the rags. He questioned my woman about the rags. ‘She does not need the rags this month’. I said nothing.

Uriah came back from the army at the kings request. The king tried to play a game with Uriah. I was part of the game but I never got to play. Uriah didn’t know about the game and so he didn’t know how to play. He ate and talked with the king, he drank his wine. But Uriah did not come to me, even when the king jostled him and nudged and suggested. I said nothing.

Uriah went back to the army and the king sent orders. It was no real surprise to me to learn that Uriah had been killed. If I mourned Uriah it was because I had lost my safety, lost my cover story. I was no longer the wife of Uriah. The king was not stupid. He had plenty of women. He sent for me. The child was born: a boy.

The child died. It was no real surprise to me. Others spoke about it, from prophets to slaves asking why the king did not mourn when the child died. The king was not stupid. He had other sons. I said nothing.

The king came to me again. He had other women but he came to me. He claimed he thought it would comfort me. David was counted a wise king but I know the king is stupid. I said nothing. A child was born: Solomon. Now he would grow to be wise. I said nothing.

Janet Lees: 12.10.2020